9 Ways to Live Nappily Ever After

What an amazing movie Nappily Ever After is! The movie is about an ad exec (Violet Jones) who is a perfectionist that experiences a romantic setback when her boyfriend mentions to her that it feels like he’s been on a first date for 2 years. This insensitive remark sets fire to a self-discovery journey that allows Violet to love who she is in her natural state.

I love that this is a movie tackling one of the biggest elephants in the room for black women, our hair. Violet had been taught since a young girl that she couldn’t get her hair wet, sweat, let alone wear it in its naturally curly state. This insecurity stemmed from her mother who was consumed with the idea of being perfect and projecting that insecurity on her daughter Violet as well as one of the reason’s why the marriage between Violet’s father came to an end.

Wanting to look your best and presentable when you step out of the house is something that was passed down from my grandmother because the perception of black people is all we have when we enter a room. However, the dialogue amongst black men and women is long overdue for a change.

‘Nappy’ is a derogatory term created during the times when black Americans were enslaved and segregated. Black men and women have been the ‘butt’ of jokes since the beginning of time. This is evident in marketing ads of beauty, cosmetics, and high fashion magazines. Slowly we are seeing a demand of change in these areas. Makeup brands are being pressured to expand shade ranges, fashion shows and TV are being forced to be inclusive.  The systematic racism has to end.

Changing the way people speak about Black Americans is a goal of mine amongst professional relationships and personal relationships.

What I didn’t agree with the movie about is the need to cut off all of Violet’s hair in order to prove this self-love point for black women or the lack of knowledge about black hair. This is the first of many films that I hope sheds light on the need to UNlearn the way that white Americans perceive black Americans. Unlearn everything that was ever told to black Americans to make us feel as if who we are authentically is NOT enough when our culture is the MOST emulated. A celebration of one race is not a put-down of another. My hope for the generations behind me is to live in a world where every culture and race is celebrated for its heritage and embraced so everyone can have a healthy sense of pride.

Here Are 9 Ways To Live Nappily Ever After:

1. Never use the term ‘Nappy’ to describe YOUR hair or any black woman hair.
2. Embrace your natural texture of hair however long, short and coily it may be.
3. Experiment with different products for your natural hair (Avoid products including sulfate, alcohol etc.)
4. RESEARCH  your hair type (3C,4A, 4B, 4C)
5. Wear your hair in whatever Protective Style (Weave, braids, blonde, bun, from, twists, twist-out etc.) you want to! It’s your hair! Have fun with it!
6. Go swimming!
7. By your own Glam Squad (#BYOGS)! Learn how to STYLE your hair! Practice! Watch Youtube videos!
8. Write positive affirmations down about your WHY you Love your hair.
9. Set boundaries for how other people interact with YOU about your hair